


quite aware of what they're going through

by salazarastark



Category: The Breakfast Club (1985)
Genre: Developing Friendships, Epistolary, Gen, Social Media
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-04-07 13:43:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19086226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/salazarastark/pseuds/salazarastark
Summary: Five students were chosen to participate in a Shermer High chatroom. They were suppose to be anonymous, but they didn't stay that way.





	quite aware of what they're going through

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Highsmith (quimtessence)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/quimtessence/gifts).



> Betaed by the delightful Karios!

“Mr. and Mrs. Johnson, this is Richard Vernon, Vice Principal of Shermer High. I’m calling today to inform you that Brian got an F in shop, and he’ll need to retake the class. Please give me a call back as soon as you are able.”

*****

**The_Brain:** _ Why the hell do we need school so much? Why the fuck does it matter? _

**PrettyInPink:** _ Interesting thought coming from you _

**The_Brain:** _ I’m just so fucking tired of my parents and what they want from me. It’s like one less than stellar grade and I’m flushing my life down the toilet. How the fuck can I do that when I haven’t even started it? _

**benderrodriguez:** _ run away _

**The_Brain:** _ Again, dude, I can’t do that. _

**benderrogriguez:** _ just tossing out an idea…… _

**dyingheart:** _ it’s not a bad one _

**lewisandkent:** _ kind of is? most people can’t just run away from their lives _

**benderrodriguez:** _ not with that attitude _

**lewisandkent:** _ not with any attitude! _

**The_Brain:** _Guys, stop arguing. I can’t just run away, but I got . . . I gotta do something. My parents are going to try and control my entire life if I don’t put a stop to it somehow._

**PrettyInPink:** _ Believe in you, Brain! _

**dyingheart:** _ you can do it _

**lewisandkent:** _ just be careful, okay? _

**benderrodriguez:** _ dont be an idiot _

*

**PrettyInPink:** _ Do you think he’s going to be okay? _

**benderrodriguez:** _ he’ll be fine, stop worrying _

**PrettyInPink:** _ I’m not sure if we should. _

*

**The_Brain:** _ Well, I think I can say that my parents are some of the worst people in the world. _

**benderrodriguez:** _ im pretty sure that if you put all our parents in a locked room together, they would rip each other apart and the world would thank us for it _

**PrettyInPink:** _ Hate that I’m agreeing with B, but I have to. _

**benderrodriguez:** _ call the pope, we got a goddamn miracle on our hands, pretty agrees with me _

**PrettyInPink:** _ Oh, shut up _

**dyingheart:** _ how did your parents react _

**The_Brain:** _ They accused me of not caring about my life and they didn’t like me pointing out that stressing myself out about one bad grade is not actually going to help my life in any way. I swear, if it wasn’t for Cindy, I would just leave this place. _

**lewisandkent:** _ well, she’s lucky to have you for a brother _

**The_Brain:** _ Thanks. _

*

_ Incognito Mode _

recent Google search:  how to tell your friends you want to die

*

Miss Claire Standish,

Please complete this survey on the new Shermer High chatrooms.

As you know the chatrooms are a new feature this year that is being tested anonymously in small beta groups. It is the hope of the Shermer High Faculty that the chatrooms facilitate conversation between students from all walks of life and that students feel they can use the chatrooms to communicate about the issues in their lives without fearing judgment or reprisal from their peers.

We want to make these chatrooms as functional as possible for current and future students. We would appreciate your insight on the strengths and weaknesses of the chatrooms as they are now.

With that in mind, please respond to the following questions.

 

Sincerely,

Vice Principal Vernon

Have the chatrooms helped your school performance? Yes, no, or unsure

Unsure

Have the chatrooms introduced you to people you are fairly confident you do not interact with on a regular basis? Yes, no, or unsure

Yes

Have the chatrooms helped you in your personal life? Yes, no, or unsure

Yes

Do you have any personal comments to add?

I thought this was going to be the stupidest thing in the world and I only did it because you said we had to be shown logging in at least once, which I still don’t think is very fair. But the four people in my server are actually really cool and I think they’re better people than any of my actual friends, but I can never tell them that, just like I never told my friends I even joined this stupid chatroom.

I’ve learned a lot of things about myself over this server, and one of those things is that I’m a coward.

*

**The_Brain:** _ If we met in real life, do you think we’d like each other? _

**benderrodriguez:** _ nope _

**benderrodriguez:** _ pretty sure wed hate each other _

**lewisandkent:** _ where’s your proof of that? _

**benderrodriguez:** _ every interaction we have on this server? _

**benderrodriguez:** _ you honestly think that we wouldnt want to tear each others throats out as soon as we saw each other? _

**dyingheart:** _ i’d like to meet you guys. my therapist says it would be a good idea. _

**benderrodriguez:** _ well i have dont have the time or the inclination to unpack that _

**PrettyInPink:** _ Maybe we could make plans to meet after graduation? That way if we hate each other, it won’t be the worst thing in the world. _

**benderrodriguez:** _ maybe _

**benderrodriguez:** _ hey, any of guys know claire standish? because i have a story about what that bitchy princess did today in math class to a kid i know _

**lewisandkent:** _ a little _

**dyingheart:** _ no _

**The_Brain:** _ I can guarantee you that she’s never looked twice at me. _

**PrettyInPink:** _ I know her pretty well _

**PrettyInPink:** _ I fucking hate her. _

*

“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”

“Some asshole is beating on his kid in the Walmart parking lot, you need to come quick. Guy won’t calm down and no one here is big enough to stop him.”

*

**lewisandkent:** _ did you guys see john bender today? looks like he got into a big fight this weekend _

**benderrodriguez:** _ yeah, looks like he really took one. pretty sure he gave it even worse tho _

**The_Brain:** _ That wouldn’t surprise me. That guy looks like he can easily lay someone on their ass. _

**benderrodriguez:** _ lol yeah _

**PrettyInPink:** _ Got a crush, B? _

**benderrodriguez:** _ nah, i just think he’s cool _

**dyingheart:** _ i can imagine _

*

note found shoved into John Bender’s locker:

**If you don’t want people to know who you are in the chatroom, you probably shouldn’t name yourself after the** **_Futurama_ ** **character that you share your real name with. It makes it kind of obvious.**

**Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. Just maybe stop talking about yourself in server?**

*

**benderrodriguez:** _ just so you know, i hate all of you, but one of you specifically. i just have to figure out who it is _

**lewisandkent:** _ well, this is cryptic _

*

“Mr. and Mrs. Bender, this is Vice Principal Vernon. I’m calling because your son John has been suspended for three days due to fighting with another student on school grounds. He is on his final shot, and he will be expelled if he screws up again.

“We’ve also noticed some suspicious bruises on him at school, and so we have to ask if everything is okay at home? Please give me a call back as soon as you can.”

*

"You have reached Vice Principal Vernon. I have stepped away from my desk. Please leave your name, callback number, and a brief message at the tone."

“Vernon, you’re a punkass bitch and I hope you rot in hell.”

*

_ Dear Diary, _

_ I’ve figured out who they all are. They aren’t subtle. They don’t try to hide. No matter what, everything that makes them  _ them  _ shines out. _

_ I wish I could do the same. _

*

**dyingheart:** _ what do you guys want to do when you grow up? _

**The_Brain:** _ My parents want me to be a doctor, but I’m not sure what I want to be. _

**PrettyInPink:** _ I haven’t thought that far ahead. _

**lewisandkent:** _ same _

**benderrodriguez:** _ i think its pretty useless for me to make plans _

**benderrodriguez:** _ im stuck here _

**lewisandkent:** _ how are you stuck here? _

**benderrodriguez:** _ my dad has made sure that im going to grow up to be just like him _

**dyingheart:** _ what if we dont have to be our parents? _

**benderrodriguez:** _ im pretty sure that’s impossible _

**dyingheart:** _ but have you ever tried? or are you just so scared of failing that you won’t even try to see if you’ll succeed? _

**benderrodriguez:** _ hey, im not here for a therapy session _

**dyingheart:** _ well, you should try to find somewhere to go. you need it _

**benderrodriguez:** _ jesus christ, it was you _

**dyingheart:** _ i never meant to hide it _

**lewisandkent:** _ whatd you do? _

**benderrodriguez:** _ figured out who i was! _

**dyingheart:** _ i know who you all are. you didn’t make it hard. don’t worry, i won’t tell anyone else here _

**PrettyInPink:** _ Wait, what!? _

**The_Brain:** _ Oh, God. _

*

_ Dear Diary, _

_ They actually know that I know now. They’re upset, and they all logged out. Well, except for Andrew. He was nice, told me that he believed I wouldn’t tell anyone about who they were, but then he logged out himself. _

_ I think he’s upset too, but I appreciate him telling me. _

_ I hope they forgive me. _

_ And I hope they figure out who I am too. _

_ But I’m not sure if they will. _

_ I’m pretty unnoticeable. _

*

**benderrodriguez:** _ are they on here? _

**The_Brain:** _ I hacked it so I can see if they’re on here or not. Don’t worry, they’re not. And don’t worry, I can’t see who you are either. _

**benderrodriguez:** _ good _

**benderrodriguez:** _ now what the fuck was that all about? _

**benderrodriguez:** _ how in the world did they know about us _

**lewisandkent:** _ i mean, i’ve thought about it, and i can actually see how someone could figure out who it was in namespace. i don’t exactly censor myself and my life besides the barebones major details, but anyone who pays attention? shouldn’t have a problem _

**benderrodriguez:** _ yeah, well what gave the little freak the right to do that? They should have just minded their own business. _

**lewisandkent:** _ don’t talk about them like that, they weren’t mean and they didn’t even say anything until you brought it up _

**benderrodriguez:** _ yeah well you didn’t get a note in your locker telling you that you need to take better care of your secret identity. _

**benderrodriguez:** _ that shit freaked me out _

**lewisandkent:** _ yeah, well, it’s pretty easy to figure out who you are after like two minutes. you’re not subtle _

**PrettyInPink:** _ I have to agree with that. Next chatroom you’re on, maybe don’t call yourself “Bender.” _

**benderrodriguez:** _ fuck you all _

**The_Brain:** _ He’s gone. _

**The_Brain:** _ How long have you’ve known? _

**lewisandkent:** _ just since last night, i wouldn’t have brought him up before if i knew _

**PrettyInPink:** _ When you brought him up and he started talking about how cool he was. He hates everyone and thinks they suck, and I found it odd. Then the real reason hit me in face. _

**PrettyInPink:** _ You, Brain? _

**The_Brian:** _ Within the first few days. But I don’t know anyone’s besides his, I swear. _

**PrettyInPink:** _ Me either. _

**lewisandkent:** _ same _

*

text from your phone: guys do you know anyone that calls themselves “dyingheart”

text from Gordy: actually b i do

text from Gordy: there was this really weird hottie who was talking stuff about growing up and hearts dying last detention

text from Gordy: i’ll get her deets

*

note found shoved into Allison Reynolds’s locker:

I know who you are too. Call me at this number: 847-713-2194

***

“Hey there, ‘dyingheart.’” Allison doesn’t blink when she hears John Bender’s voice on the other end.

“I thought it would take you longer to find me. I’m glad it didn’t.”

“You’re a really weird chick, you know that right?” Allison shrugs, even though he can’t see her. She’s heard it so many times before. It really doesn’t bother her.

“Yes. You know you’re a really weird guy?”

“Whatever. Look, who are the other three?”

“They figured you out.” She hears the small, humiliated waver in his voice.

“Yeah, okay, my name was really stupid, I know.” He’s frustrated now. She hopes he processes these emotions healthily.

“Not stupid. Just obvious. There’s a difference.”

“Is there?”

“Yeah, it’s just not that obvious.”

“Oh my  _ God _ , you are so weird. Look, just tell me who the other three are.”

“No.”

“ _ No _ ? Why the hell not?” Is it really so surprising she wouldn’t tell?

“Because it’s not my secret to tell. I only gave you a warning. You’re the one who decided to knock down the dominoes fall. And you’re just upset that everyone figured you out before you figured them out.”

“That’s not why I’m upset.”

“....oh, I see.”

“You can’t see a damn thing.”

“I see the issue between you all. I was jealous that you’re still all so uniquely you, that you can’t hide who you truly are. But you didn’t like being you. None of you did. You all wanted to be someone else. I tore that away.”

“Please, I’m awesome.”

“You are. But you aren’t. And you don’t believe what you just said. You don’t think you’re awesome.”

“Well, why wouldn’t I think of that?”

“Because your dad hits you.”

There’s silence on his end, and Allison decides to continue on.

“Don’t worry, I don’t think they’ve put the pieces together yet. I’m just really good at reading between the lines. And I don’t think it makes you lesser. It just makes things hard.”

“How would you know?”

“I don’t, but I’m willing to be here if you need me to.”

“Fuck this shit. I’m out.”

*

Andrew closes his locker door to find a strange girl standing there, watching him. He can’t help it, he just jumps back just a little.

“Lewisandkent,” she says. “Clever. Both connect back to Clark. You were actually the hardest to figure out, but that was how I figured it out.”

Oh, he knows who this is. “Dyingheart.”

She smiles, and he forces himself to focus. It’s a pretty smile, and she’s a beautiful girl, but he doesn’t know why she’s here.

“You don’t seem upset.”

He shrugs as he attempts to lean casually on the lockers. He knows he can pull it off. He does it all the time with cheerleaders, but with her? For some reason, he feels that she sees right through him.

He settles himself back into an upright position. “Yeah, well, I couldn’t figure out who you were, so I’m glad to meet you.”

“I’m glad to meet you too. And I need to ask you something.”

"Yeah, what do you need?"

"Bender wants to know who you are," she says. "He's angry that we all know who he is, but he only learned mine."

Andrew frowns. He really doesn't want John Bender to know who he is; the guy's an ass both online and off, but as benderrodriguez, he had admitted things. Things like: how much of an abusive dickweed his dad was, how he felt like he had nothing to offer the world so why should he bother trying? It wasn't enough to make Andrew like him, but it still made him feel some sort of pity for the guy.

She’s watching him with wide, dark eyes, and he can’t help but sigh. “Alright. I’ll meet him. Are you going to talk to the others?” She nods eagerly, another pretty smile crossing her face.

She turns to leave, but he says a quick, “Hey!” that stops her in her tracks, makes her turn back to him with a quizzical tilt of her head. “What’s your name?” he manages to get out of his ridiculously dry mouth.

She stares at him for a minute before, “Allison Reynolds,” comes out softly.

“Allison,” he says. “That’s really pretty.”

The smile she gives him is bright enough to light up the sun.

*

Claire is waiting for her father to arrive. She finds it so incredibly frustrating that he took away her car after she had arrived ten minutes late for his curfew. She had  _ tried _ to call him to tell him that she was stuck in traffic, but as usual, he didn’t care. She didn’t follow his rules because she  _ couldn’t _ follow his rules. He almost took her phone away too because she was driving and calling (even though she had been stuck in traffic for more than an  _ hour _ because of a car accident and how was she supposed to control that?), but her mother had taken pity on her and convinced him to let her at least have that.

It’s one of those things that she would have complained in the chat room about, but she couldn’t do that because dyingheart figured out who they all were and Claire doesn’t want to be known.

Actually scratch that, she doesn't want to be Claire. It isn't fun being herself, it isn't fun smiling when she hates her smile, and hates what she does everyday. She just wants to sink into the ground and emerge as someone other than Claire Standish.

She doesn’t know how to get over this feeling, but the chatroom has relieved some of it.

Fuck, why the hell did dyingheart have to figure it out? Why did benderrodriguez have to reveal that she knew? Why couldn’t they have left well enough alone and let her have this one true thing in her life?

Her dad has probably forgotten about her, not used to picking her up after school. She should call him, but she wants to see how long it takes before he remembers.

She sits down on the cool steps, and turns her phone over and over in her hands. A shadow passes over her, and she looks up and frowns. It’s a girl, pretty, but who would be much prettier if she wore something that she was obviously comfortable in, something that would make her shine instead of hide like she’s obviously trying to do right now.

She thinks she knows her name; they had English together last year, but she doesn’t think she ever heard her say a word. “Alice?” she asks.

“Close. Allison.”

Claire nods. “And how can I help you?”

“You really are pretty in pink.” Claire’s blood turns cold.

“Dyingheart,” she murmurs.

“Yup.” Allison sits down next to Claire. “I never meant for you to know about what I know. It seemed to me you really needed the chatroom. You all did. Except for me. Well, I did too, but not as much you guys.”

“What makes you think that?” She cannot deny the words, as much as she wishes they weren’t true. She knows how privileged she is, that she’s rich and popular and pretty, and she hates it all. As much as she argued with everyone in the chatroom, they were her friends in more ways than any of the people she knew in real life. She trusted them with secrets that she had never trusted with anyone else before.

Until Allison betrayed her.

“Why’d you figure it out?” she asks petulantly. “Why couldn’t you have left it alone?”

Allison shrugs. “It wasn’t hard to figure it out. It barely took me any time at all. I notice everyone a lot more than they notice me. I just listened to what you said and filed it away and one by one the pieces led to you. That’s all it was.”

Oh that’s all it was? Claire had to get the best thing in her life ruined because . . . because . . . because someone was kind and attentive enough to pay attention to what she was saying and remember it.

All of the anger leaves her, as much as she wishes that she could hold onto it.

“Is there a reason you’re here?” she asks.

“Yeah,” Allison nods. “If you’d be willing to go, I’d like to arrange a meeting.”

*

Brian has the chatroom open while he studies, like he always does. He knows that it’s a bad habit, but he enjoys the thrill he gets whenever someone says something. He’s never really had friends before, just opponents. His parents had raised him to believe that everyone was in competition. But these people on the chatroom . . . these friends . . . he’s glad to know them. He’s glad to have them.

He’s pretty sure that without them, he would have killed himself.

Or maybe that’s a little extreme. He just constantly wishes that he was dead or that he wasn’t around or that he could turn off his emotions or that he had never been born. He never actually found something to do the dirty deed with.

He just thought about it constantly.

But once he got the chatroom, he had actually had something to look forward to, something to get happy about.

It’s been dead these past couple days, after dyingheart and Bender caused an explosion, but he keeps it open. Part out of habit and part out of hope that they would all agree to ignore this and could go back to the way things used to be.

It’s a foolish thought, but it’s one that he still clings to tightly.

And he’s glad it is open when he gets the message.

**dyingheart:** _i'm_ _Allison Reynolds_

He blinks, wondering what’s going on. 

Then another message pops up.

**dyingheart:** _ and you’re Brian Johnson. _

His heart leaps into his throat, and he doesn’t know what’s going to happen.

Then a third and final message comes up.

**dyingheart:** _ meet us in an hour at the triangle diner _

His hands shake, but he manages to type out a reply.

**The_Brain:** _ Okay. I’ll see you there. _

**The_Brain:** _ I promise. _

*

Bender’s still pissed at the fucking gall of Allison fucking Reynolds for figuring out who he is, but he’s curious as to why she wants to see him, so he ends up at The Triangle Diner, nursing a Coke as she looks at with wide brown eyes for a minute before she finally speaks.

“I never meant to make you feel uncomfortable,” and what the fuck is Bender supposed to say to that? Sorry she didn’t realize that people don’t like their business exposed. He scoffs and looks out the window. There’s just a highway out there, and he starts playing a little game: How many blue cars in a minute? He keeps on losing count though, because he can feel her eyes on him, so finally he turns back to her.

“I just wanted to warn you that it was starting to become clear who you are, and I didn’t think you wanted that. So I just thought if I told you through a note, you would hold back.”

“And you  _ really _ didn’t think about the fact that maybe, just  _ maybe _ , getting an anonymous note from someone telling me that they know who I am in the one fucking place in the world I could be anyone other than me might make me freak?”

She tilts her head. “In hindsight, it could have gone much better.”

Bender wants to laugh. Really, he wants to laugh. But he doesn’t understand how anyone can be so fucking out of touch that they don’t realize how weird it is.

“You didn’t have to tell them,” she adds. And yeah, he knows that. He could have just kept his mouth shut, and gone on his merry way, but he couldn’t. Everyone else had to know what a fucking snake she was, and he was right. She knew who they all were.

“It’s a good thing I did. I’m sure they’re all royally pissed at you too.”

“I agree with pissed, but I think it’s only royal with you.” She looks out the window, and then continues on casually. “I invited the other three here too.”

He stills in his seat. “What the hell do you mean?”

“Well, you wanted to know who they were, since they all figured out who you were. I convinced them all to come here so we can all meet.”

She says it cheerfully, like this is a good thing. And yeah, it is, but he also doesn’t want to fucking  _ meet _ them. He just wanted to know their names so he could hate them from a distance.

Bender debates how quickly he can get up and run right now, but then Allison smiles and waves towards someone walking in the door and he realizes that it’s too late.

He turns around to see some nerdy blonde kid walk in the doors, and give her an awkward wave back. The_Brain, he thinks absentmindedly. Kid looks like he’s a brain.

He walks over to their table and sits down next to Allison. He has no choice, Bender has made sure to sprawl all over his side of the booth. No one is sitting next to him; he doesn’t care what Pretty and lewisandkent think when they come in.

“So,” the kid chuckles nervously, “I’m Brian. It’s nice to meet you.”

Jesus, the kid looks so awkward right here that Bender would pity him if he still wasn’t so pissed at Allison. He still gives him a jerk of a nod.

Brian smiles at that, seeming to think this makes them friends.

Which . . . they are, but not in public, on the outside. Only in the school chatrooms, the best and the worst thing that’s ever happened to him.

“So do you know when the others will get here?” he asks, and Bender raises his eyebrow in question. He wants to know too. He could still leave now, his brain is telling him to, but now that he’s seen one of them, he has to stay for the others.

“Soon,” Allison says cryptically. She takes a sip of her tea and withdraws from the conversation as she looks out the window and settles in for a wait.

Bender and Brian join her in looking out the window, and Bender suppresses a groan. Claire Standish is about to walk inside, and Bender does not want to be here for this. Princess is going to take one look at him and turn up her nose.

But Allison is different. She straightens up and when Claire walks in, she walks right over to them, her attention focused solely on Allison.

She’s wearing pink.

Oh shit.

He still refuses to move, even when they all turn to look at him. After a minute, Claire heaves a long-suffering sigh and pulls a chair from a neighboring table and sits down at the head.

“It’s nice to meet you all in person,” she says primly, and Bender rolls his eyes.

“I can’t believe I didn’t put this together,” he groans. “Who else would be PrettyInPink?”

“Not like any of us were hard to find.” Brian grins, and nudges Allison’s shoulder playfully. “But I’m glad to meet you, uh, Claire. I’m Brian.” He’s acting like he doesn’t know who she is, when there’s no way in hell that can be true. He’s just giving her an out for not knowing him, and Bender doesn’t understand why he’s playing that game. “It’s exciting to be here. And I can’t wait to meet lewisandkent either. Hope he’s coming soon.”

Claire and Allison both smile at him warmly, and even Bender will concede that his brightness carries over from the screen into real life. It’s just annoying as fuck.

“He’s here,” Allison says. Bender looks back at the door and . . . Jesus, what was Vernon thinking when he had all five of them be in the chatroom? Andrew Clark, star wrestler, bounds into the diner and smiles widely at Allison, and then without a care, he knocks Bender’s legs from the booth to sit down next to him.

He catches Claire and Brian sharing a smirk, and he flips them off underneath the table. They can’t see it, but it makes him feel better.

“Sorry, I’m late,” he says. “I was stuck in traffic.”

“Funny,” Allison says with a smile. “We all had to walk here and you still were late.”

It’s not really funny, but Andrew laughs, so maybe Bender is missing something. Then he sees that Claire and Brian are also confused and Allison is blushing and Andrew is smiling right at her and again, Bender rolls his eyes.

Honestly, this is ridiculous.

“So we’re all here,” Brian says. “Weird, huh?”

Understatement of the century.

He turns to look at Bender. “Well, so do you still hate us?”

He shrugs. “I’m seeing how this goes.”

He does and he doesn’t. Wants to tell them good-bye forever and also knows they are the people who know him the most out of everyone else in the world.

His black eyes still throbs and his shoulders tighten reflexively as he remembers the pain of his father’s beat-down, and the humiliation of needing to have the police pull his old man off him. His father only sat in jail for a night, and then came home to beat on him and his mom some more.

He hates it, and he knows they all know about him and his dad.

“It’s strange to see us all in one place,” Andrew says, pulling him from his thoughts. “Honesty didn’t ever expect it to happen.”

“Wasn’t my idea,” Bender mutters. “ _ She _ tricked me into it.”

“You’re welcome,” she says blithefully. “I’m glad I could make this happen.”

Is there any way to piss her off?

“So what do you want to do?” he asks mockingly. “Hold hands and go camping?”

“If you want, but not right now.” Claire, Brian, and Andrew snicker.

And then they lapseinto an awkward silence. Allison is the only one who seems happy staring out the window; Andrew is staring at her, Claire is staring at the table, and Brian is looking up at the ceiling. The waitress comes and goes with drink and food orders.

“Vernon is going to think this is such a failure,” Brian says suddenly. “The chatrooms, I mean. Wasn’t the whole point that we weren’t supposed to meet?”

“Who cares about Vernon?” Claire asks, and Bender finds himself looking at her with new eyes. Maybe he  _ can _ like her.

He did like Pretty.

“Do you think they check the chatrooms?” Andrew asks.

“Of course they do,” Bender says. “It’s fucking Vernon. He probably gets his rocks off on it, and I’m not sure if it’s totally anonymous. Might enjoy knowing our secrets.”

“Then why did you share so much?” Claire asks.

“Why did  _ you _ ?”

Claire purses her lips, looks straight through the window into the darkening sky. “I don’t know.”

“There you go.”

“He can’t,” Brian butts in. “Not according to the code. He’ll see that we clicked the link through his end, but he can’t see anything we do in the room, so we and our secrets are safe. He’ll never know if we don’t go in it again.” He looks down at his lemonade. “Though we still can. Use the app and everything to talk. But only if you guys want to.”

Translation, Brian wants to, and Bender, as much as he wants to laugh and tell Brian that’ll never happen, he can’t. He liked having the ability to type out his life and press send and have the other people on the other side not judge his words at all. They won’t judge his life.

He was free to be completely him, not some criminal that everyone assumes he is. He looks at the others, and shifts in his seat before he decides to jump in the deep end of the pool.

“I could use it,” he says, mouth dry. “Sometimes. If you guys use it too.”

“Same,” Andrew says.

“It was nice,” Claire adds.

Brian smiles widely, like he’s glad that his plans weren’t shot down, that he was going to have the chance to keep them in his life.

“It was nice,” Allison says. “To be free.”

Bender can’t help but agree with them.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Tapping on the Glass](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21508483) by [nameless_wanderer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nameless_wanderer/pseuds/nameless_wanderer)




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